Coffee

I got up on my feet after you walked off to nurse your wounds with my salt tears leaving me to resign with the last of my dignity. As I reach for loafty dreams with my being on the grindstone I see clearly that I was too much of a fallen angel disguised by pain and lonliness. Now as I go about my business with a full loving appreciative heart my disguise falls away revealing the best thing you never will have because you couldnt see beyond the smoke and mirrors cloaking me. I dont have a wall, shell or shield its a cloak of veils. So as Solome does I express myself away for love and for revenge it will be on your conscience. Now I grow stronger each day knowing the sky is the limit and no matter what things will always look up. You could say I'm titanium, you shout it loud but I cant hear a word your saying I think maybe apt. Damn right its end of days. I dream nightmares that in reality are minor key premonitions dismissed as deja vu. I will stick to my promises even if its the only kind thing I can do. If the last change wasn't good enough then you aren't good enough for this because its 100% real and if you can't talk the talk dont think you can chill like an ice cube in the fridge. I could have given you the world but I wanna work to have the world for myself. Its not easy being a bitch like Karma and you didn't realise how beautiful yours was until you marred it in battle, poison arrow straight from your heart in and through mine. I got my immune system going in hard its emotional. So let me hear you say 'shit that girls gassed in the wave' nah I am the wave. Free like the wind coming and going but always breezing past to come say hi to the family. The calm before and after, better yet the eye of the storm, watching from the ground to the heavens from the pools nature placed. So heres one thing you can't stand in me now, I am free to be who I want to be, do what I want to do and go where ever I want to go. I am the queen of my castle calm in my tressle. I will defend my pride, my honour, the people I love and still do it with a smile and a complete heart. So tell me how does a change for the better works? I'm sure its so I show I become impowered because the love I have and the self respect gained from knowing im not perfect. So next time you want to re-evaluate or burn a bridge know that actions are what you should watch because my words fall on deaf ears and it makes it harder to hear be happy because its genuine because everytime I say that word I bless myself with more of it in my life. Never again will I be sad because I deprive myself of lifes gifts.

Its the end

I turn my back
Walking away
from the mess
that was us

No more crying
no more frustration
no more confusion
no more stubborness

If you were a cause
for my heart
then I have lost
leaving you discarded

My worth
is greater now
I got up off my arse
On to my feet

Each step
paying for success
happiness and love
Its priceless

My attention bid for by others
you treat it like nothing special
What I gave you willingly and fully
is rejected, unappreciated

Each step
was rough but well intended
hiding valuable remains
of what was left of me

My vulnerable soul
shattered
and then crushed under
your feet I worshipped

No longer am I on my knees
no longer is my soul shattered
No longer is it getting crushed
No longer will I allow my heart to be yours

Free at last from
your inconsistant devotion
Where i am not good enough
because I refuse to match your half hearted efforts

Yes we went through
thick and thin
when i needed you the most
you turned your back on me

Now you may need me one day
i will cast a dispassionate eye
but a compassionate heart
beg for my mercy like i did to you

Your eyes will fill
your heart wailing
Your legs buckling
Your mind gone

I will embrace you in grace
console you tenderly
then send you on your way
into the wilderness

I wish you happiness
I wish you love
I wish you wisdom
I wish you opportunity

All this I never
once had from you
just your spit and cruel words
when I needed your support

So alone I will reside
Independant
motivated
and loved by those who matter

Now - freewrite

Family is about freedom
to be accepted for who you are
unconditional love
based in understanding
of life
I'm just playing a fool
to catch the wise
who think its ok
to tell lies
your morals and principles
the same
keeping promises
with honour
parading as tollerance
angelic for one
so young
we are all fools
our hearts
misguided
when our soul screams silently
at our own self scarificial rituals
the never ending cycle
of self harm
vicious circle
spiraling into madness
where our inner calmness
is found
the ones who's life
is so full of gas
because we
fight for
those castles in the sky
I am just an angel
who proudly wears her dirty face
in the morning
as shame has no room
to destroy my soul
This madness is catching
a plague
where players get
played
real recognising real
intellectual insight
bedazzling smoke
and mirrors
fire of purity
fuelled by the past
an enchantress
with cleopatra-esque
instantanious exoticness
myserious grace
my words
so charming
the honey venom
dribbles down your ear drum
to your heart
A temptress
with each breath
intoxicating
your senses
just pure me
i won't fall
for love anymore
no longer seeking
for true love
its gone
never to return
moving on like
a man
after a woman loves him
leaves him
with remains of her heart
Not suffering fools gladly
Knowing
myself
too well
to lie to myself
I see the signs
of being love sick
curing myself
playing your games
as an equal
unknown to you
I wrote the rule book
Inspired by the Juliet
of experiences
The wise crone
after the stereotype
of an age
an ideal
a religious upbringing
I am Delilah
pouring the waters of knowledge
to wash your feet in
knowing my weakness
will be the premise of
your downfall
my kindness a strength
its compassion
that will be your knife
that shorns of your
strength
If you wish to be a king
of your castle
where I am considered a mere princess
then I will topple you
If I am considered a queen
Then you have a home with me
where your heart is
it shouldn't be a prison
where I am chained up
not free to voice myself equally like you
make it heaven on earth
keep it sweet
long and lingering
I am not a p[osession you can hide
from the world
Yet I am filled
with gifts
that are the jewels
for your crown
my virtues
glitter through your eyes
when you've spoken my name
your loins stir
when you have me to yourself
knowing I can be the virtuious whore
sacred sex
I am a temple
not a castle
worship me
knowing i know
myself and the world
where I have created
miracles from prayers
an oracle
oozing
sexuality and sensuality
so warm yourself
the the hearty hearth within
dont charge yourself in
otherwise you will scorch
yourself
playing with fire
I wont estinguish myself
with tears cried
when I forgot to listen
to the gods
instead
i will store my tears as holy water
powerfully healing and
used to annoint the rightous
who have faith
wont summon a flood
without understanding
we go 2 by 2
a perfect pair
so fill this temple
with offerings
from your heart
let me visit your temple
where I lay upon your sacrificial alter
ready to devote my breathe
to change
my faith in love
restored

free write - storm

The rain hammers on the window pain
drumming the beat of my pain
slow and steady like a snare being caressed with a brush
Scantily clad in shorts and a vest top
I dance in the rain
my soul exhaulted by the thunder and lightening
as the heavens climax
my eyes widen, head thrown back, screaming
I AM FREE
into the world
feeling reborn
as my fringe collects the tears of heaven
they slide down my brow
and mingle with my own salt tears
forcing thier way out of my eyes

As the world quietens down
I stumble back in doors
wrapping my hair with a towel
I sit in my still drenched garments
with a bottle of rose
the liqour behaving like water
unable to get tipsy
my soul still raw
from its brush with nature
the stupidity of the risk i took
sinks in and is pawned off with
neo spiritual reasoning

I am still restless for days after
am offered a means to still myself
escaping into a bubble
in this I find a solitary calm
that reaches my toes
As I sit with the boys
I am strangely silent
Speaking when nesseccary
mutely tagging along
until I am asked to accompany one to bed
I blush and say fine hun
The one of the boys asks
are you two together?
I shrug, he nods affirmative

When we are alone
he draws me close tightly
we convosate about mundane reality
He instigates thrice
never following through
with his motions of desire
So I leave it
Free to silently dismiss his wandering hands
free to keep my desire silently aloof

Soon I will say
I want you
so take me
but I must be reserved
patient
until I reach breaking point
Afraid to be dominant
assertive
with a man that is my thunder
to my lightening moods and whims.

So as I wait like a heron
With a storm brewing inside me
I pray he gets the message
before I release this pent up tension

gassed in the wave

girl to woman
heart growing
stronger
each day
as i allow
myself
to be free
forgiving
remembering
time healing me
with omens
ghosts of past
all needing to be
aired
led to rest
for soul
to be
freed
whole
wholy incomplete
holy complete
finding myself
through
breathing
through
the pain
to let go
give
and
recieve
loving
myself
in turn
loving others
spiritual
evolution
finding my temple
worshipping
the goddess
within me
so
the right man
will
worship
me
like
i do
making
my religion

god
made me
in its image
free
brimming
with love
loyalty
strength
honour
dignity
lady
in a
mans
world
respected
revered
by
the menfolk
admired
honoured
by
the womenfolk
a classical
icon
role model
to my sisters
and
brothers
lost
in the
wilderness
crying out
wailing
for thier
freedom
thier
hearts
caressing
insanity
alongside
reality
sorting
the runs
from
solid shit
wheat
from
chaff
gas
from
air
floating
past
observing
like
a breeze
ruffling
feathers
with tender
kisses
rustling up
a storm
calm
like
the eye
of a
hurricain
watching
observing
the world
go by
not ready
for a
farwell
yet
heart
on my
sleeve
acting
heartless
dishing out
fairness
eqaulity
judgement
like dinner
the last
into
a new age
new dawn
aqaurian
overflowing
with wisdom
for a
lost generation
reinventing
the future
in the present
from the past
this
is a
consciousness
born from conscience
being
perfect
imperfectly
its
a real dream
founded
and
funded
by reality
the light
is growing
stronger
brighter
by a
natural fuel
fanning
the flames
of love
my heart
is my own
ready
to be earned
by my prince
charming
reinstated
to king
by a
queen
who
found
her own
glass slipper
smashed
on the
stairway
to her
castle
in the air
foundations
built
in the earthy
practicality
of pain
sensuality
blended
with sexuality
animalistic
but grace
oozing
from
every orrifice
ettiquite
elocution
redefining
standards
romanticism
fueling
the belief
i am your fantasy
lets get
talking
healing
young heart
old soul
connected
in harmony
calm
serene
in the
rat race
of
humanity
no one
really
humane
commuting
to so called
communities
roots
forgotten
so
feet
get itchy
travelling
wayfaring stranger
hermit
cassandra
crying her truth
nearly
wailing greiviously
reaching
in still waters
getting deep
seeking a fish
in the
pond of life
ponderous
like a heron
patient
i am
my own
heroine
to
a damsel
distressed
by
the dragon
known
as knowledge
but
showing
no fear
courage
lighting
the way
through
darkness
i rescue
myself
from the
shackles
of stereotypical
concepts
educating
through
curiosity
and
unquenchiable
thirst
knowledge
is
power
know
thyself
and the
world

history
created
from
a great
lie
and a
river of blood
claret of truth
oppressed
by ignorance
and fear
of
ancient wisdom
intuition
tracing it
back to
black magic
forgotten
science
real
alchemy
astrology
womans art
divination
multiplying
mans division
through
zealotry
softened
tempered
by understanding
compassion
tollerance
jesus walked
marys time
has arrived
magdaline
the jezabel
and the virgin
mother
queen of heaven
lady of the world
freak of the boudior
princess of the night
mistress of mystery
sex
an art
held sacred
by a
prophetess
heraled
royally
by
the stars
angels
immortals
alike
treading
fearlessly
softly
to a dream
embroided
in the
celestial
clothes
clothed
shabbily
soul dressed
richly
in heavens
shifting
satins and silks
of dreams
the p[rophetess
respecting
pitas sophia
a horoscope
embodied
woven delicately
from
four elements
a salt breeze
turning tides
of oceans
shaping the earth
fueling the flames
of humanity
to let
dreams
breathe
astrally
combining
arian
playfulness
taurian
sensuality
geminian
duality
cancerian
sensitivity
leonine
creativity
virgoen
practicality
librean
harmony
saggitarian
freedom
scorpionic
depth
capricornian
maturity
aqaurian
vision
picesean
dreaminess
12 dashes
of virtues
1 recipe
for humanity
letting
it flow
like rivers
lava
mudslides
and hailstorms
balancing
light and dark
good and evil
highs and lows
heaven and hell
letting
light shine
through
windows
of the soul
search beacons
recognising real
being a fool to
catch the wise
in disguise
selling myself
cheap
coz im priceless
underestimated
underappreciated
undervalued
easier
to smash
open wide
expectations
exceeding them
beyond
unknown
places
situations
scenearios
circumstances

travelling
wayfaring stranger
prophetess
hermit
social butterfly
leaving kisses
of life
as I pass
through
looking for home
where I lost my heart
carelessly
as youth
seductively caressed
me with temptation
curiosity
and a feast of sins
i still dine upon
liike its my final supper
before I wade
into the water
that god's troubling
born through breathe
burnt by desires flames
grounded to reality
by earthy drudgery
baptised afresh
in heavenly tears
or redemption
purity is death
wings lost as we fell
earned through mortal struggle
gnostic thoughts
debated
socially
culturally
politically
contant analysis
sending this soul
to wild
untamed
unventured
territories
guided by
elders
watching
the growth
the diminishment
of the past
augmenting the future
living the present
regrets are
remembered
responsibly
they are
cleansed of shame
by nieve rightiousness
gleamed by
insightful hindsight
gained in
the darkest hours
which ancestors
called witching hours
the wee small ones
where the inner child is
nursed
nurtured
norished
by the young adult
here
humbly mumbling
to be accepted
for herself
fumbling to find
the cache of
love
happiness
contentment
the souls treasures
burried deep
amoungst the trash
of pride
of arrogance
of ego
hidden in plain sight

life is a fleeting joy
but wisdom is found
in sorrow and suffering
the soul cannot fly
if its not been shackled
by immaturely bred
ignorance when
innocence is snatched
by the devil instated
through miseducation
dispensed by the media
owed by the establishment
embellish a stereotype
reinvent and transform
the boxes and labels
branded commercially
revolutionise
your views
rise up
strong for a revolution
sung by a lost choir
of fallen angels
known as
the demonised generation of today
forgotten and ignored
because of dogmatic history
created by victors lies
stemming and ebbing from
a river of innocents blood
spilled ignorantly
by narrow minds
foolish hearts
void bodies
lacking
spritual growth
frightened
by the fear of the unknown
knowledge
that requires
a whole holy spirit
to reach
enlightenment
gained by
walking on coals
b reathing poisonious fumes
swimming in filth and disease
burried in the suffocating dirt
rising again
free
forgiving
compassionate
selfless
treating days
like they are
the first
the last
and blessing
the now
for retribution
not sought in revenge
but repention
for not living
without vices
not enough virtue
villianous vanity
self indulgent sloveny
gatious greed
longing lustly
heratical herasay
blaspheming berligerantly
spewing spite
against a spirit
searching
despite treason and betrayal
at all turns
in this cosmic maze
feet itching
gut rumbling
an internal storm
raging
against today
simutaniously serene
centered on getting
past the past
making the present
a gift appreciated
and the future
crystally clear
with a fallicy prophetic
in clarity
causing nervous breakdowns
forcing souls
to be
rejuvanated
in acidic rain
cried bitterly
by bodies
bottling
brewed
emotion
expressed rawly

newsreaders and religious zealots
preaching
a near by end
to the souless crowd
tuned in
the damned mob
sucked in by
shallow
superficiality
normality determined
by popularity
when popularity
is a game
where success is a destination
based on an easy journey
judged by the masses
ignorant of the fact
that
real success is a journey
that has an unforseen destination
materialism is precious now
not being at peace and comlete
so I turn my face from your version of reality
finding and carving my own way
in this wilderness
we are cast into
for our forefathers and foremothers sins
i cry alone
for each heart broken
never healed
for every soul
ripped apart
for every body that disintergrates
into a disease
inflicted by an ill
sheparding society
leading a flock of sheep to ruin
I will be the lone wolf
wailing
at the ever inconsistantly consistant moon
at the edge of the
abyss
uncomfortably numb
between my
animalistic needs
and
humane human persona
let me triangulate
the sqaureness
of my
circuar existance
to reach
a forth destination
of ambiguous actualisation

Heart

Dress me in your pretty words
pearlescent plurals and diamante dialogue
sweet seduction by similies
coaxing smiles
my heart wont be tainted
I'm bleaching it
for a man
the only man
who healed me
hitting my insecurities
so sweetly
i swooned
straight into his heart
never intending
to leave
he did though
each time crumbling my soul
like a burning house
my bewildered rage
giving smoke and mirrors
fronting my dimisal
rebirthing from rage
self pity propelling
preparing to start from scratch
now fed up
with breaking through each layer
of ash
this will be my last
no next time
now its love and hate
no grey
amalgomating extremes
calmly contridicting contridictions
If I am destined for him
and he for I
then let it be
if not
someone tell god
stop rocking the boat
My dispair takes dizzying hieghts
and my happiness hits lower than satisfaction
barely keeping my head
thoughts like express trains
non stop even through the night
music playing softly
to hide the cries
and the loniness stalking my shadow
intoxication failing
corrosive on the wounds
self inflicted with whame and sin
ideas turnt to knives
dashed carelessly in the dark
poems murdered
left half done
like the bottles
hidden in stilletoes
later dashed furiously
through windows
against walls
glass shredding my feet
mimicking the men on my dreams
even they are tossed
then turnt out
my cruelty is kindness
recognising thier kind
in a woman
they get caught
with hook, lines and sinkers
masculinity becomes feminity
femme fatale becomes macho bravado
confidence built on
brutal honesty and reciprocation
friends giving subtle advice
sampled upon like snacks
my heart absent
not knowing where it went
certian he has it
safe in his chest with his
maybe ignored
hopefully not forgotten
in his rightous mood
sorry to every man
that searched for it
sorry to everyman
that saw the stone replacing it
sorry to that man I lost
accept my defeat
i have nursed my wounds
ready to reach an alliance
just to claim myself
as yours
for me

Untitled Scot - Werd Alblum review (5 Stars)

This young man has critics from Edinburgh to London so excited for this album and believe me for great reasons. This is a proper mixtape album and each track stands alone under the grace of pure bangers. Werd is eloquent and drops more bars than Barlinnie (Prison), also he can touch any musical genre and still make it fresh with a true Hip Hop feel. The word progressive really doesn't describe the capabilities Werd has to offer the listener. A word of warning though is if you can't handle real talk then don't listen and if you don't listen then you are a fool. The whole album is 5 stars but if you want a few suggestions then take a listen to 'Drive like its stolen', 'No Romeo ft Mog' and 'SOS All Day'. If you like your tongue in cheek lyricism, evocative metaphors and solid beats that make you blow your speakers then Werd is definitely for you.

untitled

they say you never know what you got
till its gone
to lose you once made me realise
to get you back
made me protective
to lose you again
drove me insane

i sit comfortable in my lonliness
feeling like our nightmare is our reality
my nightmare fortunately isnt that bad
what tortures me?
the inability to keep you alive
in your cell
i am unable to keep a promise
without breaking a promise

wondering if theres a chance
a chance to sort the wheat from the chaff
a chance to start afresh
past forgiven and forgotten
praying your thoughts are deep
as deep as your mystery
i sit finding a loophole
writing for you
not to you
in hopes one day
you will read this
knowing deep down i kept
my lovers promise

i pray your mind is thinking of me

jheeze

bun you family like smaoking a phat rip ripping the piss like you pish blood but your just a period blud gotta piss in the water mate dont piss on yourself with your hate saying you hate water practise what you preach treating me like a mate bloods thicker than water only things thicker is money and custard thats why im stacked in filling with love lets get equal its a simple eqaution subtract the prick, the false images of eqaulity thats platinum h2o shit thats new skool to me you know nothing of og you gotta add some unconditional love to get a degree in my school too alumini for you going back to basics thinking your lifes a movie if you cant handle me at my worst you dont deserve my best so bestie lets get investing sis so hear up stop pissing in your blood blud

The playground

For Dylza Looking in the mirror amazed at how make up hides a multitude of sins looking natural and fresh eyeliner and mascara widening exhausted eyes bold lipstick sealing a mouth that utters truth quietly amoungst the lies tint of blusher caressing high cheek bones mimicking the shame i know longer feel bright green of my iris's is shockingly cold unable to glitter anymore knowing your absence crushes my soul love rediscovered lost purposely found cracked discarded again tattered reaching realisations with each clink of my lifes lottery balls its a losers lottery the jackpot is the last reserves of my strength to get up dust myself down to carry on a pitiful existance knowing love has no room for pornstars, gold diggers and the nieve when i left abrubtly quietly to where i came from i searched for something i needed from you in what i know now as the wrong place affection romance connection which i could never humble myself enough to ask from you i reached blindly searching trying to find me in our absence i created a life one aborted in hope we could have one day you once said you admired my strength which is now my downfall i wish i had the strength to tell you when you came back into my life about what happened on our absence i wasnt strong enough to overcome my fear of losing you again if i knew how it was going to turn out then maybe i could of summoned the courage to over rule my shame we went to bed before i could even think about telling youthen bed wasnt neutral ground i let it become a beautifuol battlefield side by side we watched eachother having nightmares and quiet down with touch sweet words and bitter discussions pass over time in various intoxicated states my resence of life dashed with fragments of me held in others eyes blended into the breakup which pushed us full circle with 2 rotations complete but not fufilled i step of our magical roundabout dizzy with pain and anguish i stumble to the swings to push myself into flying trying to get high enough to touch the clouds unable to i survey my playground as it turns to night the moon illuminates the roundabout sitting lonely abandonded far away you are no longer there a bolt of loss hits me like lightening the sky starts to weep with me in my desolution and the heavens drum out my destitution if this is natural and nature at its greatest then i will embrace this nakedly and be rejuvinated when we meet again i will be hesitantly perching on a slide this time i will not coax me to launch back on the roundabout instead i will wait wait for you to climb up and sit behind me wrapping me into you so we can launch ourselves over the roundabout like acrobats or wait for you to walk out of the park never looking back letting the dawn absorb you completely If i cant be the heroine to myself then i will be the heron patiently perching for you to come up one day even if that day never comes stubbornly steadfast waiting the summer out wondering if there is a next time will we see us beyond spring not knowing if now is the end of days or if we will see our days end together doesnt matter now so hush those ill thoughts clouding your mind the sun will come out one day and you will find me patiently perching perpetually waiting to be complete ready for the descent that readies us to ascend beyound the roundabout one day

love is a battlefield

Vodka emotion wound tight ready to shatter quivering tension ready to snap let the resevoir flow gushing destroying instead cold defient statuesque white flag waved as backs turnt evacuating the battlefield fight lost dignity grace kept head held high lake of tears now a drought fresh start pheonix metamorphising out of the ashes of lies into the flames of retribution hope calling distantly ignored by snow hate blanketing it wind of forgiveness stalled defeat blatent unrecognised silent battle no victor just casualties now trappeed in no mans land a detente ceasefire all nothing unsaid intamacy affection massacred blame accepted chances to fix destroyed thoughts feelings ponderous ressurection out of the window death of a soul death of life welcomed gratefully all lost eternally

end of days

Written in scotland 3 days before my nans funeral when me and my ex broke up! Stand in the line of fire take it embrace each shot to know you broke a diamond heart accept your own evilness face it owning it is brave meeting eyes irrelevant let the shame take you in its sorid arms resistance futile fall down take the beating its well deserved keep still play possum take the oppertunity to change to shed old patterns grew anew flip the tables on yourself take the hand offered prove to yourself to everyone you lost your losing will lose get up crawl into the new place start afresh come back with peace offerings with humility surprise pride transformation be the hermit be a vaugly familiar stranger change is good make it great do it its required needed wanted get back what you love lost who you're suppose to be you can do it

vengence

His vicious words whispered she cowers contained within herself unable to look into those eyes the ones that lured her in the ones she drowned in the ones that spew hatred She plays her part perfectly next morning she is merry singing in the bath tub she adopts the infamous attitude I dont give a fuck Your pain my pleasure You cant break me verbally Driven by his increasing fury She seems insensitive Aloof untouchable Phone goes she answers it nonchalantly Carries it to the bathroom locking herself in and him out Fist pound on the door her objective achieved he spits in her face after vomiting and digesting Doritos She suddenly chills he is acutely aware of this clear vision frozen fury vindictive thoughts hour later she emerges hitting the vodka ignoring the others laughing freely hyperactive she gets him alone turns to him with drunken sobriety asking one for the road? she gives him his constant request wordlessly her body flows seamlessly into sexuality her mind blank focusing on her goal as the objective is reached she moves away and falls into a dreamless sleep he sees her soul diminishing unable to see into her the games over weeks later she is unrecognizable open, honest and mysterious Remaining alone she finds herself discovering dashed dreams abandoned ambitions lost loves football shirt hidden in a draw awaiting to be ritually burnt fuel to fire rings in her head giggling at the irony knowing hes in his hell thinking that she is in hers however her hell is actually her heaven looking different sexier, grown up classy, feminine confident, fabulous Her revenge is bubble gum lipstick stained cigarettes and coffee cups professionally perfect