Heart

Dress me in your pretty words
pearlescent plurals and diamante dialogue
sweet seduction by similies
coaxing smiles
my heart wont be tainted
I'm bleaching it
for a man
the only man
who healed me
hitting my insecurities
so sweetly
i swooned
straight into his heart
never intending
to leave
he did though
each time crumbling my soul
like a burning house
my bewildered rage
giving smoke and mirrors
fronting my dimisal
rebirthing from rage
self pity propelling
preparing to start from scratch
now fed up
with breaking through each layer
of ash
this will be my last
no next time
now its love and hate
no grey
amalgomating extremes
calmly contridicting contridictions
If I am destined for him
and he for I
then let it be
if not
someone tell god
stop rocking the boat
My dispair takes dizzying hieghts
and my happiness hits lower than satisfaction
barely keeping my head
thoughts like express trains
non stop even through the night
music playing softly
to hide the cries
and the loniness stalking my shadow
intoxication failing
corrosive on the wounds
self inflicted with whame and sin
ideas turnt to knives
dashed carelessly in the dark
poems murdered
left half done
like the bottles
hidden in stilletoes
later dashed furiously
through windows
against walls
glass shredding my feet
mimicking the men on my dreams
even they are tossed
then turnt out
my cruelty is kindness
recognising thier kind
in a woman
they get caught
with hook, lines and sinkers
masculinity becomes feminity
femme fatale becomes macho bravado
confidence built on
brutal honesty and reciprocation
friends giving subtle advice
sampled upon like snacks
my heart absent
not knowing where it went
certian he has it
safe in his chest with his
maybe ignored
hopefully not forgotten
in his rightous mood
sorry to every man
that searched for it
sorry to everyman
that saw the stone replacing it
sorry to that man I lost
accept my defeat
i have nursed my wounds
ready to reach an alliance
just to claim myself
as yours
for me