Coffee

I got up on my feet after you walked off to nurse your wounds with my salt tears leaving me to resign with the last of my dignity. As I reach for loafty dreams with my being on the grindstone I see clearly that I was too much of a fallen angel disguised by pain and lonliness. Now as I go about my business with a full loving appreciative heart my disguise falls away revealing the best thing you never will have because you couldnt see beyond the smoke and mirrors cloaking me. I dont have a wall, shell or shield its a cloak of veils. So as Solome does I express myself away for love and for revenge it will be on your conscience. Now I grow stronger each day knowing the sky is the limit and no matter what things will always look up. You could say I'm titanium, you shout it loud but I cant hear a word your saying I think maybe apt. Damn right its end of days. I dream nightmares that in reality are minor key premonitions dismissed as deja vu. I will stick to my promises even if its the only kind thing I can do. If the last change wasn't good enough then you aren't good enough for this because its 100% real and if you can't talk the talk dont think you can chill like an ice cube in the fridge. I could have given you the world but I wanna work to have the world for myself. Its not easy being a bitch like Karma and you didn't realise how beautiful yours was until you marred it in battle, poison arrow straight from your heart in and through mine. I got my immune system going in hard its emotional. So let me hear you say 'shit that girls gassed in the wave' nah I am the wave. Free like the wind coming and going but always breezing past to come say hi to the family. The calm before and after, better yet the eye of the storm, watching from the ground to the heavens from the pools nature placed. So heres one thing you can't stand in me now, I am free to be who I want to be, do what I want to do and go where ever I want to go. I am the queen of my castle calm in my tressle. I will defend my pride, my honour, the people I love and still do it with a smile and a complete heart. So tell me how does a change for the better works? I'm sure its so I show I become impowered because the love I have and the self respect gained from knowing im not perfect. So next time you want to re-evaluate or burn a bridge know that actions are what you should watch because my words fall on deaf ears and it makes it harder to hear be happy because its genuine because everytime I say that word I bless myself with more of it in my life. Never again will I be sad because I deprive myself of lifes gifts.

Its the end

I turn my back
Walking away
from the mess
that was us

No more crying
no more frustration
no more confusion
no more stubborness

If you were a cause
for my heart
then I have lost
leaving you discarded

My worth
is greater now
I got up off my arse
On to my feet

Each step
paying for success
happiness and love
Its priceless

My attention bid for by others
you treat it like nothing special
What I gave you willingly and fully
is rejected, unappreciated

Each step
was rough but well intended
hiding valuable remains
of what was left of me

My vulnerable soul
shattered
and then crushed under
your feet I worshipped

No longer am I on my knees
no longer is my soul shattered
No longer is it getting crushed
No longer will I allow my heart to be yours

Free at last from
your inconsistant devotion
Where i am not good enough
because I refuse to match your half hearted efforts

Yes we went through
thick and thin
when i needed you the most
you turned your back on me

Now you may need me one day
i will cast a dispassionate eye
but a compassionate heart
beg for my mercy like i did to you

Your eyes will fill
your heart wailing
Your legs buckling
Your mind gone

I will embrace you in grace
console you tenderly
then send you on your way
into the wilderness

I wish you happiness
I wish you love
I wish you wisdom
I wish you opportunity

All this I never
once had from you
just your spit and cruel words
when I needed your support

So alone I will reside
Independant
motivated
and loved by those who matter