I will try not to rant

Wow I had a night of intrigue, lets set the scene shall we...Im at a flat in London, but not the place I usually stay. The man of my life is out chilling with mates, (male and female...Its OK I trust him...I hope that he doesn't doing something stupid...I don't need that right now... Right stop freaking out) I don't like to be alone these days so I head out and arrive at my destination. I eat pizza, talk and check emails - nothing new. I then have a coffee, sit at facebook and catch up. I post to a rekindled friendship mate (I had to start the rekindling) This made me sink into a philosophical mood, I spoke to this person and said that I don't appreciate the bad mouthing and that they need to stop flashing the cash as it makes others uncomfortable. THEN... I find out my best mate of 6 years has been bitching about me - Now this gets me really pissed off because she is suppose to be my BEST FUCKING MATE - she said I don't support her and I'm a bad influence. Well how can I fucking support someone if I can't even support myself and make sure I don't have a nervous breakdown. At least I have a boyfriend who helps me talk about my feelings and problems (my NEW best mate)... what takes the piss is that she didn't even have the respect to tell me herself, I mean seriously she has my mobile number, knows where I'm staying and her boyfriend is my boyfriends best mate ...Not that he ever visits my BF as much as he use too (maybe its something to do with my best mate... and me telling her that I feel like second best compared to him...I didn't ditch her when I'm with him...I mean she swans off to parties and I like old am never invited... for fucksake I love to party...) It just makes me want to smash a wall or her face... calm down Jazzle... breathe in breathe out... right I have come to a conclusion on how I am going to spend the rest of my days... No bitching, devote time to those who care and matter,party like there is no tomorrow, its ok to be a seperate being (ironic that because I can't even sleep without him)... Hopefully this works and I become a better person.

poetical mutterings from the teasing by my muse in a time of insomia!!

dreams are the poets subconscious mutterings, this left the man on the moon warbling out his grief for he had been shot in the temple by a passing asteroid with a vendetta impossible to resolve.

The discovery of the self is a road less travelled. Only by those cast there for life and reality to educate, breaking pride and arrogance. Finding out the trials and tribulations of relationships, what makes one react the way they do and how to survive on this road less travelled.

You see their cracked faces underneath their porcelain facades, The mirror lies even when smashed, showing multiple shards of their soul, Reptilian tears corrode my judgement but strengthens my sense of judgement and justice, Their superficialness drips into my ears and corrupts my mind, stealing logic and replacing it with a fresh callousness, Yet while I must appear naive and senseless, inside I am forced to be an adult, wiser and cautious to their tricks. I will not be a whore to their dishonesty, disrespect and disloyalty.