Now - freewrite

Family is about freedom
to be accepted for who you are
unconditional love
based in understanding
of life
I'm just playing a fool
to catch the wise
who think its ok
to tell lies
your morals and principles
the same
keeping promises
with honour
parading as tollerance
angelic for one
so young
we are all fools
our hearts
misguided
when our soul screams silently
at our own self scarificial rituals
the never ending cycle
of self harm
vicious circle
spiraling into madness
where our inner calmness
is found
the ones who's life
is so full of gas
because we
fight for
those castles in the sky
I am just an angel
who proudly wears her dirty face
in the morning
as shame has no room
to destroy my soul
This madness is catching
a plague
where players get
played
real recognising real
intellectual insight
bedazzling smoke
and mirrors
fire of purity
fuelled by the past
an enchantress
with cleopatra-esque
instantanious exoticness
myserious grace
my words
so charming
the honey venom
dribbles down your ear drum
to your heart
A temptress
with each breath
intoxicating
your senses
just pure me
i won't fall
for love anymore
no longer seeking
for true love
its gone
never to return
moving on like
a man
after a woman loves him
leaves him
with remains of her heart
Not suffering fools gladly
Knowing
myself
too well
to lie to myself
I see the signs
of being love sick
curing myself
playing your games
as an equal
unknown to you
I wrote the rule book
Inspired by the Juliet
of experiences
The wise crone
after the stereotype
of an age
an ideal
a religious upbringing
I am Delilah
pouring the waters of knowledge
to wash your feet in
knowing my weakness
will be the premise of
your downfall
my kindness a strength
its compassion
that will be your knife
that shorns of your
strength
If you wish to be a king
of your castle
where I am considered a mere princess
then I will topple you
If I am considered a queen
Then you have a home with me
where your heart is
it shouldn't be a prison
where I am chained up
not free to voice myself equally like you
make it heaven on earth
keep it sweet
long and lingering
I am not a p[osession you can hide
from the world
Yet I am filled
with gifts
that are the jewels
for your crown
my virtues
glitter through your eyes
when you've spoken my name
your loins stir
when you have me to yourself
knowing I can be the virtuious whore
sacred sex
I am a temple
not a castle
worship me
knowing i know
myself and the world
where I have created
miracles from prayers
an oracle
oozing
sexuality and sensuality
so warm yourself
the the hearty hearth within
dont charge yourself in
otherwise you will scorch
yourself
playing with fire
I wont estinguish myself
with tears cried
when I forgot to listen
to the gods
instead
i will store my tears as holy water
powerfully healing and
used to annoint the rightous
who have faith
wont summon a flood
without understanding
we go 2 by 2
a perfect pair
so fill this temple
with offerings
from your heart
let me visit your temple
where I lay upon your sacrificial alter
ready to devote my breathe
to change
my faith in love
restored

free write - storm

The rain hammers on the window pain
drumming the beat of my pain
slow and steady like a snare being caressed with a brush
Scantily clad in shorts and a vest top
I dance in the rain
my soul exhaulted by the thunder and lightening
as the heavens climax
my eyes widen, head thrown back, screaming
I AM FREE
into the world
feeling reborn
as my fringe collects the tears of heaven
they slide down my brow
and mingle with my own salt tears
forcing thier way out of my eyes

As the world quietens down
I stumble back in doors
wrapping my hair with a towel
I sit in my still drenched garments
with a bottle of rose
the liqour behaving like water
unable to get tipsy
my soul still raw
from its brush with nature
the stupidity of the risk i took
sinks in and is pawned off with
neo spiritual reasoning

I am still restless for days after
am offered a means to still myself
escaping into a bubble
in this I find a solitary calm
that reaches my toes
As I sit with the boys
I am strangely silent
Speaking when nesseccary
mutely tagging along
until I am asked to accompany one to bed
I blush and say fine hun
The one of the boys asks
are you two together?
I shrug, he nods affirmative

When we are alone
he draws me close tightly
we convosate about mundane reality
He instigates thrice
never following through
with his motions of desire
So I leave it
Free to silently dismiss his wandering hands
free to keep my desire silently aloof

Soon I will say
I want you
so take me
but I must be reserved
patient
until I reach breaking point
Afraid to be dominant
assertive
with a man that is my thunder
to my lightening moods and whims.

So as I wait like a heron
With a storm brewing inside me
I pray he gets the message
before I release this pent up tension