gassed in the wave

girl to woman
heart growing
stronger
each day
as i allow
myself
to be free
forgiving
remembering
time healing me
with omens
ghosts of past
all needing to be
aired
led to rest
for soul
to be
freed
whole
wholy incomplete
holy complete
finding myself
through
breathing
through
the pain
to let go
give
and
recieve
loving
myself
in turn
loving others
spiritual
evolution
finding my temple
worshipping
the goddess
within me
so
the right man
will
worship
me
like
i do
making
my religion

god
made me
in its image
free
brimming
with love
loyalty
strength
honour
dignity
lady
in a
mans
world
respected
revered
by
the menfolk
admired
honoured
by
the womenfolk
a classical
icon
role model
to my sisters
and
brothers
lost
in the
wilderness
crying out
wailing
for thier
freedom
thier
hearts
caressing
insanity
alongside
reality
sorting
the runs
from
solid shit
wheat
from
chaff
gas
from
air
floating
past
observing
like
a breeze
ruffling
feathers
with tender
kisses
rustling up
a storm
calm
like
the eye
of a
hurricain
watching
observing
the world
go by
not ready
for a
farwell
yet
heart
on my
sleeve
acting
heartless
dishing out
fairness
eqaulity
judgement
like dinner
the last
into
a new age
new dawn
aqaurian
overflowing
with wisdom
for a
lost generation
reinventing
the future
in the present
from the past
this
is a
consciousness
born from conscience
being
perfect
imperfectly
its
a real dream
founded
and
funded
by reality
the light
is growing
stronger
brighter
by a
natural fuel
fanning
the flames
of love
my heart
is my own
ready
to be earned
by my prince
charming
reinstated
to king
by a
queen
who
found
her own
glass slipper
smashed
on the
stairway
to her
castle
in the air
foundations
built
in the earthy
practicality
of pain
sensuality
blended
with sexuality
animalistic
but grace
oozing
from
every orrifice
ettiquite
elocution
redefining
standards
romanticism
fueling
the belief
i am your fantasy
lets get
talking
healing
young heart
old soul
connected
in harmony
calm
serene
in the
rat race
of
humanity
no one
really
humane
commuting
to so called
communities
roots
forgotten
so
feet
get itchy
travelling
wayfaring stranger
hermit
cassandra
crying her truth
nearly
wailing greiviously
reaching
in still waters
getting deep
seeking a fish
in the
pond of life
ponderous
like a heron
patient
i am
my own
heroine
to
a damsel
distressed
by
the dragon
known
as knowledge
but
showing
no fear
courage
lighting
the way
through
darkness
i rescue
myself
from the
shackles
of stereotypical
concepts
educating
through
curiosity
and
unquenchiable
thirst
knowledge
is
power
know
thyself
and the
world

history
created
from
a great
lie
and a
river of blood
claret of truth
oppressed
by ignorance
and fear
of
ancient wisdom
intuition
tracing it
back to
black magic
forgotten
science
real
alchemy
astrology
womans art
divination
multiplying
mans division
through
zealotry
softened
tempered
by understanding
compassion
tollerance
jesus walked
marys time
has arrived
magdaline
the jezabel
and the virgin
mother
queen of heaven
lady of the world
freak of the boudior
princess of the night
mistress of mystery
sex
an art
held sacred
by a
prophetess
heraled
royally
by
the stars
angels
immortals
alike
treading
fearlessly
softly
to a dream
embroided
in the
celestial
clothes
clothed
shabbily
soul dressed
richly
in heavens
shifting
satins and silks
of dreams
the p[rophetess
respecting
pitas sophia
a horoscope
embodied
woven delicately
from
four elements
a salt breeze
turning tides
of oceans
shaping the earth
fueling the flames
of humanity
to let
dreams
breathe
astrally
combining
arian
playfulness
taurian
sensuality
geminian
duality
cancerian
sensitivity
leonine
creativity
virgoen
practicality
librean
harmony
saggitarian
freedom
scorpionic
depth
capricornian
maturity
aqaurian
vision
picesean
dreaminess
12 dashes
of virtues
1 recipe
for humanity
letting
it flow
like rivers
lava
mudslides
and hailstorms
balancing
light and dark
good and evil
highs and lows
heaven and hell
letting
light shine
through
windows
of the soul
search beacons
recognising real
being a fool to
catch the wise
in disguise
selling myself
cheap
coz im priceless
underestimated
underappreciated
undervalued
easier
to smash
open wide
expectations
exceeding them
beyond
unknown
places
situations
scenearios
circumstances

travelling
wayfaring stranger
prophetess
hermit
social butterfly
leaving kisses
of life
as I pass
through
looking for home
where I lost my heart
carelessly
as youth
seductively caressed
me with temptation
curiosity
and a feast of sins
i still dine upon
liike its my final supper
before I wade
into the water
that god's troubling
born through breathe
burnt by desires flames
grounded to reality
by earthy drudgery
baptised afresh
in heavenly tears
or redemption
purity is death
wings lost as we fell
earned through mortal struggle
gnostic thoughts
debated
socially
culturally
politically
contant analysis
sending this soul
to wild
untamed
unventured
territories
guided by
elders
watching
the growth
the diminishment
of the past
augmenting the future
living the present
regrets are
remembered
responsibly
they are
cleansed of shame
by nieve rightiousness
gleamed by
insightful hindsight
gained in
the darkest hours
which ancestors
called witching hours
the wee small ones
where the inner child is
nursed
nurtured
norished
by the young adult
here
humbly mumbling
to be accepted
for herself
fumbling to find
the cache of
love
happiness
contentment
the souls treasures
burried deep
amoungst the trash
of pride
of arrogance
of ego
hidden in plain sight

life is a fleeting joy
but wisdom is found
in sorrow and suffering
the soul cannot fly
if its not been shackled
by immaturely bred
ignorance when
innocence is snatched
by the devil instated
through miseducation
dispensed by the media
owed by the establishment
embellish a stereotype
reinvent and transform
the boxes and labels
branded commercially
revolutionise
your views
rise up
strong for a revolution
sung by a lost choir
of fallen angels
known as
the demonised generation of today
forgotten and ignored
because of dogmatic history
created by victors lies
stemming and ebbing from
a river of innocents blood
spilled ignorantly
by narrow minds
foolish hearts
void bodies
lacking
spritual growth
frightened
by the fear of the unknown
knowledge
that requires
a whole holy spirit
to reach
enlightenment
gained by
walking on coals
b reathing poisonious fumes
swimming in filth and disease
burried in the suffocating dirt
rising again
free
forgiving
compassionate
selfless
treating days
like they are
the first
the last
and blessing
the now
for retribution
not sought in revenge
but repention
for not living
without vices
not enough virtue
villianous vanity
self indulgent sloveny
gatious greed
longing lustly
heratical herasay
blaspheming berligerantly
spewing spite
against a spirit
searching
despite treason and betrayal
at all turns
in this cosmic maze
feet itching
gut rumbling
an internal storm
raging
against today
simutaniously serene
centered on getting
past the past
making the present
a gift appreciated
and the future
crystally clear
with a fallicy prophetic
in clarity
causing nervous breakdowns
forcing souls
to be
rejuvanated
in acidic rain
cried bitterly
by bodies
bottling
brewed
emotion
expressed rawly

newsreaders and religious zealots
preaching
a near by end
to the souless crowd
tuned in
the damned mob
sucked in by
shallow
superficiality
normality determined
by popularity
when popularity
is a game
where success is a destination
based on an easy journey
judged by the masses
ignorant of the fact
that
real success is a journey
that has an unforseen destination
materialism is precious now
not being at peace and comlete
so I turn my face from your version of reality
finding and carving my own way
in this wilderness
we are cast into
for our forefathers and foremothers sins
i cry alone
for each heart broken
never healed
for every soul
ripped apart
for every body that disintergrates
into a disease
inflicted by an ill
sheparding society
leading a flock of sheep to ruin
I will be the lone wolf
wailing
at the ever inconsistantly consistant moon
at the edge of the
abyss
uncomfortably numb
between my
animalistic needs
and
humane human persona
let me triangulate
the sqaureness
of my
circuar existance
to reach
a forth destination
of ambiguous actualisation