Girl got me on a cloud - EXPLICT

I kiss your soft feminine lips.
Amazed at how natural it feels.
So right but so wrong.
You take me by the hand.
The suggestive glint in your eyes, gets me ready.
Oh those so beautiful green eyes.
We head towards the toilets.
As im lead in the cubical, I slam and lock the door.
I push you down on the seat.
I hitch my dress up to my waist,
Your hands caress the space between my stockings and suspenders.
Soft but firm. Urging me on.
I sit down on your thighs legs akimbo.
Gyrating my hips licking my lips.
I seductively let my dress straps glide down my snow white swan shoulders.
You sigh a moan of desire.
My nipples go rock solid as your breathe teases them.
Before I realise you dance your tongue around them.
I start to moan deeply.
You hoist me up and turn me so you can go wild.
I sit upon the seat, with you kissing my thighs.
My juices are starting to flow for you.
I put my legs around your neck drawing you closer.
You pull my thong aside with your teeth.
I whisper 'O wow' as you start to lap up the elixer.
As you go faster, i get louder.
I look in to those beautiful eyes and am transported.
Into a world where it is just you and I.
A beautiful pink cloud of naughtiness.
I start to scream your name.
The restroom goes quiet, everyone eagar to know who we are.
You finish as I reach my highest orgasm.
I pull you close to my lips so we can share the taste.
The sweetness and sharpness dissolve in my mouth
as our tongues entwine. I start to shiver as you stroke
the small of my uncovered back.
Your touch delicate, sensitive and understanding.
I am converted as I explore your body.
Oh so bad, I want to feel all of you.
Taking my time.
As we leave the lollipop lady winks.
Asking if I had a good time.
I blush and giggle like a school girl with you enveloping me.
The rest of the night rushes past in a hazy golden drunk blur.
As we part I can't help but leave you my heart and my sexuality.
I can not get off this cloud, come visit and show me more.
Lead me around this new world by the hand.
For only you know where to go.
Wow beautiful green eyes!

Poem - Cleanser

I sit with you nestled in my ear,
Your voice reflecting my face,
tears pouring quicker than a melted glacier.
Muttering apologies that with every breathe cleanse my soul,
I will no longer sacrafice my soul for you to be a man,
I will restore my honour and not treat myself with contradictions,double standards and false hope of change.

I will be my own teddy,punching bag and crutch.
Your harsh disrespectful words will not fall on my delicate ears and outraged heart. I will be the bigger person because I am a woman.
At least I can walk free head held high back straight chin out, free of the shackles that bound my heart and clouded my bright mind.

My tongue will be razor sharp again, so will my skin be clear and white fawless, free from your purple anger. I will be hit once and strike back with vicous torture inventiveness. I will not turn the other cheeck, degraded to a naughty child. I will rip your manhood apart with can openers, nut crackers and pizza slicers.

Once bitten twice as cruel and hell knows no fury like mine, i was more than scorned so i will shatter you like china and bring you to the level you are.

I will survive simply because I florish in escaping your sick twisted love.
I WILL SURVIVE and now i show you who i have become as a standing testimant to every woman like me from before, now and to be.

Kaiz La Kazie

OMG there is a very little known MC, who is a genius and deserves more attention than her male counter parts in that genre of music. People like Devlin, P Money, and Titchy, this girl is phenomanal on mic and off as she is a great spoken word artist (for the ignorant it means a poet). If you are wise you would download her mixtapes (god didn't realised they still existed) from . Her style is a clever mishmash of genres but fundamentally grime and soul. If you don't like the beats then you will definately fall in love with the lyrics.

Achievements

I have achieved some great things in the time I have deserted my blog.

I have manage to cook rice perfect first time (to she whom is my 'mother' I did it without the fancy rice cooker). I accomplished this by making Chilli Con Carne from scratch, then Chicken Korma from scratch. Who said cooking was hard eh? Lol

Then I made Omlette with mushrooms, thanks to the lovely Delia Smith who told me how on her website, its easier than some think, its just all about speed.

Then washed 11 windows by hand big ones too. Thanks to 'Mother' who gave me nine years of training on cleaning and housework.

Figured out how to make the washing machine work when it was clogged with hair.

THE BIG ONE FOR LAST - for those who know me and those who don't - I HAVE FINALLY STOPPED BITING MY NAILS AFTER 18 YEARS - YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY (It's kind of hard when you have done it for that long and have an addictive personality - the best product is "Stop n Grow' it is actually willpower in a bottle!!!!)

The product I wish to promote is CILIT BANG, it does wonders all over the house !!!!

Ta for now xxx

Birthday month - Shout outs

First is my sisters bday, tomorrow and she will be 17. God I feel the passage of time running behind me. Happy Birthday darling and hope you enjoy your present which you will get on saturday xxxxx

The weekend after next is my fiances birthday and he will be 19 and babyboo i hope you have a great one and enjoy your bday presents. All my love to you and more xxxxxxxxxxx

Next then is a good friend called Wardi, happy 19th bday and have a drink on me as i dont drink no more xx

and finally my aunt Susan who I reunited with a few months back on my vacation to my homeland (Scotland) Happy bday aunty and i love you loads xxx

Something from nothing

I will lie for you,
upon this bed,
stripped down to the soul,
Where you take your mouth
your lips your hands
I do not know and dont wish to know
I am nothing,
I ask you to use my power
turn me in to something

Anything...
Can you do it?
Have I asked you for too much?
Love me like a woman loves a man
Like a mother loves a child
like an artist loves thier blank canvas
and a poet to pen and paper

Turn me in to something
Anything...
Take my empty space
In my mouth, in my ears and between my legs
Fill it with kisses, words and most importantly life

You just add those ingrediants
let me work my magic
I have asked too much of you
so let me do my 'woman job'

Creating something out of nothing
Absolutely anything the imagination creates

I will try not to rant

Wow I had a night of intrigue, lets set the scene shall we...Im at a flat in London, but not the place I usually stay. The man of my life is out chilling with mates, (male and female...Its OK I trust him...I hope that he doesn't doing something stupid...I don't need that right now... Right stop freaking out) I don't like to be alone these days so I head out and arrive at my destination. I eat pizza, talk and check emails - nothing new. I then have a coffee, sit at facebook and catch up. I post to a rekindled friendship mate (I had to start the rekindling) This made me sink into a philosophical mood, I spoke to this person and said that I don't appreciate the bad mouthing and that they need to stop flashing the cash as it makes others uncomfortable. THEN... I find out my best mate of 6 years has been bitching about me - Now this gets me really pissed off because she is suppose to be my BEST FUCKING MATE - she said I don't support her and I'm a bad influence. Well how can I fucking support someone if I can't even support myself and make sure I don't have a nervous breakdown. At least I have a boyfriend who helps me talk about my feelings and problems (my NEW best mate)... what takes the piss is that she didn't even have the respect to tell me herself, I mean seriously she has my mobile number, knows where I'm staying and her boyfriend is my boyfriends best mate ...Not that he ever visits my BF as much as he use too (maybe its something to do with my best mate... and me telling her that I feel like second best compared to him...I didn't ditch her when I'm with him...I mean she swans off to parties and I like old am never invited... for fucksake I love to party...) It just makes me want to smash a wall or her face... calm down Jazzle... breathe in breathe out... right I have come to a conclusion on how I am going to spend the rest of my days... No bitching, devote time to those who care and matter,party like there is no tomorrow, its ok to be a seperate being (ironic that because I can't even sleep without him)... Hopefully this works and I become a better person.

poetical mutterings from the teasing by my muse in a time of insomia!!

dreams are the poets subconscious mutterings, this left the man on the moon warbling out his grief for he had been shot in the temple by a passing asteroid with a vendetta impossible to resolve.

The discovery of the self is a road less travelled. Only by those cast there for life and reality to educate, breaking pride and arrogance. Finding out the trials and tribulations of relationships, what makes one react the way they do and how to survive on this road less travelled.

You see their cracked faces underneath their porcelain facades, The mirror lies even when smashed, showing multiple shards of their soul, Reptilian tears corrode my judgement but strengthens my sense of judgement and justice, Their superficialness drips into my ears and corrupts my mind, stealing logic and replacing it with a fresh callousness, Yet while I must appear naive and senseless, inside I am forced to be an adult, wiser and cautious to their tricks. I will not be a whore to their dishonesty, disrespect and disloyalty.

The year of learning

A year ago today, my favourite aunt passed away from cancer. It killed her slowly and the 3 months prior I spent a lot of time at the hospital with her talking and enjoying her company. The evening before she died I went to the theatre with my best mate and watched a Brecht play at the lyric, the name of it escapes me. However when I was lying in my mates bed I sat bolt upright at 6.30 AM, with a pain in my chest and then a wave of calm. At the time I wondered what that was about, but as I went to college my sister approached me whilst I was in my registration class and told me my aunt died. I was in shock and tried to hold it together until the end of the day when it hit me and I weept.

Her death and the after effects taught me a lot about who I am and how death effects us as individuals. Her death showed me I am a strong person and that thier is no shame in crying whilst reading aloud, especialy at a funeral. I learnt that when I thought I was coping I wasn't as my grades where slipping and I devoted too much of my time being another person to advoid grieving properly. I also learnt that through my arrogance I fail to achieve what I could have done with hard and focused work.

I know that my aunt was watching over me and is proud of what I have achieved; my first poetry commission, reading a handwritten eulogy and carrying on whilst weeping, keeping up with my studies and finding my way in life with my own choices not someonelses, finding true love and carrying on when times get tough then.

But I know she will be disappointed in me for not achieving my potential in my exams, for not holding on that little bit longer to get out of my mothers.

I love my aunt so much and I know she is looking down on me smiling and at times when I feel lonely holding me tight.

Aunty Kim I love you and rest in peace. xxx

Valentines Day

Got 1 card from the one I love, he cooked the meal, watched a few movies, did a few things and was very happy and loved. Simple but really special.