I am what you made me

Nature vs. nurture
lets look at my nature that you carelessly nurtured
Never being able to settle, constantly running and hiding
you enhanced it by forcing me to push everyone away
when anyone gets close enough to scratch the surface now
I run and don’t stop
I try to stay still but my moulded instinct takes over
I flee regretting it every time
My creative expression was one you tried to crush
but it was me
So I try to write constantly
there are time I cease writing when I feel like a fraud
whining I have writers block
when I just feel hollow, empty, used, abused and disposed of
my aggression was one you nurtured with the belt, slipper and cruel words
everyday was a battle
Until I was torn off the field
shown the path of gentleness
When I reach the edge of my temper
the lessons you taught me shine through like a blazing flame
Another is I kept quiet and tiptoed around to avoid being the victim
when I burst outside I transform
from meek and mild to bold and eccentric
Both feel fraudulent
at 19 I must resign to the fact that you nurtured my nature
no matter what I do I cant escape my past
It makes me sick that I am nothing but a toy
to you and the world
Its too late to rebuild and start afresh
I am what you made me
Nature vs. nurture
and all that bullshit